Waiting, waiting...

So, my new toy (aka Fitbit One) arrived yesterday, I'm so excited! Set up was really pretty easy -- just needed to create an account on Fitbit and then I synced it with my Sparkpeople account and they're talking to each other! I love when technology works :) Today will be the first full day of seeing how this cute little thing works. I'm going to give it a week or so before I pass any judgement :)

On another note -- I've been to the gym four days in a row! That's the most days I've gone, in a row, in a very long time - yay me! So, something is starting to click - at least I hope. I once read that it takes about 3 weeks of consistently doing something in order to form a habit -- I guess I've got 17 more days before this working out thing becomes a routine. But, I did manage, between the elliptical and just general walking around the house doing things to burn about 460 calories today from exercise - so I'm happy! It's not earth shattering - but it's a start :)

Getting back to motivators, I already discussed the need for external motivators because I lack that inner voice that yells at me. Hence, the purchase of the Fitbit. But, another great external motivator for me -- I love to travel! You might ask what does travel have to do with losing weight? Well, ultimately, for me, it's not necessarily about losing the weight (although it's a key ingredient) but it's about vanity. I want to look good in photos! I hate looking back at photos of holidays and trips when I was fat. It makes me sad, it makes me depressed, it makes me feel ugly. I just can't accept myself as this fat person and I really want to find the skinnier me. Oh, and feeling good so that I can explore new lands, that's important too!

I mentioned that my family went on a Mediterranean cruise in 2010. I was extremely motivated prior to that trip to finally take off pounds because I wanted to be in pictures!  I wanted to prove that I was really on that trip!

In the past I've always stayed behind the camera. If I happened to be in a photo, I usually hid behind someone and only stuck my face into the picture. I was the queen of masking my obesity. It was my way of hiding the fact that I was fat and if no one could see it, then I didn't have to face it. I know now that I wasn't fooling anyone. You can't hide when you're between 50 and 60 lbs. overweight. The only one I was fooling was myself. But on this trip, I was front and center in photos -- I wasn't hiding behind my boys. And, even though I wasn't at my "ideal" weight, I felt good!

Now, I realize that I need that inner voice to take over to really be successful in maintaining my weight loss in the long run - I know that - in my head. But, for some reason my logical self and my inner self aren't speaking to each other -- at least not yet.

What's sparking my desire to lose weight again -- besides the fact that I just don't feel good about myself? Well, the real cattle-prod is my upcoming vacations! I currently have three trips planned in the next year. This summer - we are road tripping. This tour includes Pittsburgh, PA (husband grew up here), Niagara Falls (both US and Canadian sides), Toronto (boys are HUGE NHL fans!), hiking in upstate New York and finally New York City (my old stomping ground). Then, next spring, my oldest son and I are off to Europe for a 10 day whirl-wind tour of Berlin, Prague, Munich and Vienna with his High School class. Finally, our last scheduled trip is another cruise next summer. I want to be in photos to prove I've been to all of these wonderful places! I want to step out from behind the lens!