Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Well, I think I've come to the realization that I'm not very good at this blogging thing. I just don't seem to do it enough. Maybe it's because I don't even know if anyone is interested in hearing my chatter, maybe it's because I can't find things to talk about -- but I sure don't seem to get out here enough to write.

My life is, basically, pretty boring. I'm a mom, a stay-at-home mom with two teenagers who have their own things to do. I'm a wife, with a husband that works outside of the home - who has his own things to do. What do I do all day? Well, I'm currently in the process of cleaning and decluttering. I've found, while wandering around this house, all by myself, that we have way too much stuff. And, therefore, I need to get rid of some of that stuff. I've organized my office. It went from this:

To this:

To, finally, this:

I'm very happy with the outcome. I still need a new chair for the "desk area" -- kitchen barstools are not the most comfortable for long periods of time.

My next project is our upstairs bonus room -- what a mess! There are toys up there dating back to the stone age. Well, okay, I exaggerate, but there are some things from when the boys were very young and although they're still young -- they're a little too old to be playing with Pokemon and Playskool action fgures. So, I've set up the boxes -- keep, sell, donate and then there's the trash bag. I'm finding quite a bit is going into the "keep" box because the toys have true sentimental value and the guys want to keep for "future generations" or the trash bag because they're broken. But, at least either way -- the stuff will be off the shelves, out of closets, etc and find new homes -- either in storage or in garbage (or in someone else's house for the few things that make it to the sell or donate piles.)

Our family did manage to get another hike in a few weeks ago. Beautiful! We went to Hanging Rock State Park. It's located in the middle/northern part of North Carolina - just north of Winston Salem. It was - wow! We only had a couple of hours to spend there -- we were on our way back home from Charlotte and took a side trip. But, I really want to go back and explore more. Here are some photos from that hike:

That rock face in the distance is where Hanging Rock is located. Although not a difficult hike -- it was considered
moderate because of the elevation and then the climbing (rocky) near the end.
These are some of the stairs that we needed
to climb. They seemed never ending -- this
is just one section, there were, at least,
three sections like this
That is Hanging Rock from below. 

Where the tree is, center of photo, is where you need to go to make your way over to Hanging Rock -- where
that group of people are just right of center.

A view from Hanging Rock.

Panoramic from Hanging Rock.



 
And, finally, here's me and my oldest
standing on Hanging Rock.
We made it!
I have found that hiking is really one of my favorite activities. I think that if I lived somewhere close to one of these beautiful parks, I would hike much more frequently than I do now. Although there are hiking trails not far from my home, they do not have the same pull, for me, that these more "mountainous" trails do. I love the challenge of the rocky terrain. I love the feeling of expectation -- what's around the next bend? What will the view be like from the next open area? What will the view be like from the summit? Not that hiking in any area is bad -- I've hiked several of the parks near my home and will continue to do so when I get the chance, but they just don't have the draw that some of these other areas do. But any hike is better than cardio work out at the gym just about any day! But, I still manage to get to the gym several days per week :) if even for 30 - 45 minutes to get a good sweat on the elliptical.

So, trying to stay busy. Still watching my diet, still trying to stay active. On a side note, I am officially down just over ten pounds -- so I'm happy about that

For those struggling with this weight loss thing -- all I can say is stay active, watch your portion sizes,  eat healthier, stay active. The formula does work.




Friday, August 15, 2014

Vacation!

Been gone for a bit - family visited us a couple of weeks ago and we had a wonderful time, hanging out, eating, laughing, eating... Well, you get my drift. Then, I set off on a wonderful vacation with my three favorite guys - hubby and two sons. We embarked on a 10 day, 2000 mile road trip starting from NC to Washington DC:
Space Shuttle Discovery
National Air and Space Museum, Udvar-Hazy Center


Washington Monument at Sunset

Lincoln Memorial & Reflecting pool

Then, on to Niagara Falls (both US side and Canadian):
American Falls
Niagara River, looking towards Buffalo, NY
Horseshoe Falls from NY side
Bridal Veil Falls
American Falls & Bridal Veil Falls, from Niagara, ON

View of Niagara Falls from Rainbow Bridge

Rainbow over Niagara

Next, we visited the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto
Statue just inside the entrance to the HHOF
My very handsome young men with the Stanley Cup


















We hiked Letchworth State Park in Geneseo, NY:


This place was absolutely beautiful! If you ever get a chance to go, it's worth the trip!

 



We rested for a day and a half while visiting family in Albany, NY and then spent two days in NYC.  We toured the Metropolitan Museum of Art, The Top o' the Rock, The 9/11 Museum and Memorial, walked through the Eastern side of Central Park (to and from the Met southward.) We went to dinner at Carmine's (delicious!) and basically just enjoyed many of the sights and sounds of The City :)

We finished our trip with a quick stop at Arlington National Cemetery:

We returned home on Wednesday night, had Open House at the boys' high school on Thursday evening and I've been running errands all day today.

Now, I'm home and figured I needed to say "hi."  It's been a crazy whirlwind two and a half weeks and I'm exhausted! But, it was awesome and I would do it again in a heartbeat!

So, how did I do with two and a half weeks of no gym, family visits, vacation? Wish I could say I did great -- but I had the backward slide. Stepped on the scale yesterday morning to find I've gained back 6 of the almost ten pounds I had lost. NOT GOOD. But, stepping on the scale this morning I did find 2.4 of those pounds are gone - so I'm hoping some of the weight gain is just due to bloat from being off my regular routine.

It's amazing, my Fitbit tracked that I walked a total of 155,143 steps in those 10 days! I walked over 26 thousand steps (yes, you read that correctly) on two of those days. There were only 2 days that I didn't make my step goal. 155,143 steps equaled 61 miles of walking and I climbed the equivalent of 288 floors! You would think that with all of this walking -- I would be doing great. Well, guess this is where quality of exercise outweighs quantity. As you can see, I walked and I walked a lot. Did I sweat - well, it was warm in NYC :) Let's just say we didn't exactly get our heart pumping during those walks. I would say the only time my heart rate increased was in Ontario - there was this hill (a.k.a Hill from Hell) that was awful. I'm not exactly sure how long it is, but it steadily climbs at a fairly steep incline. We walked this hill about 5 times over the course of 2 days! Never. Wish. To see. This. Hill. Again. Anyway, I won't whine about the Hill from Hell anymore - it didn't kill me - probably made me stronger :) Ha! So, I did have moments when my heart rate came up -- in Niagara, at Letchworth, walking quickly to get to The Met in NYC (walked from 42nd street to 82nd St.) Anyway, you get it - I walked and walked and walked. But, apparently, those heart rate increasing moments were too few and not enough.

I'll admit, my food intake was pretty poor too. Normally I try to keep my calories between 1200 and 1500 calories per day, sometimes a little lower, sometimes slightly higher - but average is around 1300. At this intake rate, as long as I was getting quality exercise, I was averaging about a pound a week weight loss. I let myself go on vacation, made bad food choices, skipped meals trying to make up for the fact that some of my meals were much higher calorie/richer foods - basically did everything wrong there. SIGH.

So, now what? Well, I haven't been back to the gym yet. Unfortunately, everything is crazy hectic this week. Between back to school shopping, grocery shopping, school functions, doctor's appointments, etc., etc. I haven't been able to get there. But I did get outside and walked a bit more briskly. I made my steps (actually more) and walked my 5 miles. Goal is to get to the gym tomorrow and Sunday for quick workouts and then to get into the "meat" of my daily routine on Monday. See, the boys return to school next week and I will finally have a few hours during the day that are just my own! Happy, happy, joy, joy!!!

I could get discouraged by my weight gain and I won't kid you, I did cuss myself out yesterday when I stepped onto the scale. But, what good does that do? It's not going to make the weight disappear (well, 2.4 pounds obviously got scared enough to run - lol) I need to get to the gym, I need to recommit myself to healthy eating, I need to work!




Wednesday, July 23, 2014

How to get sidetracked in one slip

7/17/14
Coming up with what to write in a blog post is often times difficult. Finding time to blog can also be a challenge. I kind of use this blog as a type of diary, a way of thinking out loud and hopefully inspiring someone else who may be having the same type of struggles as I have.

So, new struggle... I fell. After spending most of last Saturday at my sons' school doing maintenance type of work, I came home and decided I really needed to water my yard. So, I went outside wearing my "Keds-like" sneakers and grabbed the hose. Now, we have a hill in my backyard. It's not very big, but it is somewhat steep. At the top of the hill I have hydrangeas and crepe myrtles. So, I walked about half way up the hill and started watering my plants. Well, I guess it didn't take very long for the water to roll down the hill and make it somewhat wet. And, my "Keds-like" sneakers don't exactly have the best traction. Can you see where this is going? I was standing sideways to the hill and slipped. Ouch. I fell in such a way that my right shoulder and the right side of my head hit the hill. My shoulder came up, my head went down and the right side of my jaw actually hit my shoulder. Hard to describe the pain I felt, but I literally thought I broke my neck because of the crack I heard when I hit. At the very least, I thought my head exploded.

But, still here -- no broken neck, no broken jaw, no exploded head. After several minutes of lying very still, I managed to get up. My husband took me to urgent care to have me checked out. I have a mild concussion and a very badly bruised jaw. I had a hard time eating for a couple of days, had to stick to soft foods. Wish I could say that helped me lose some weight (LOL) but no such luck. The biggest challenge I have right now is some dizziness which is to be expected. I thought it had gotten better, but came back last night with a vengeance. I went out for a rather longish walk yesterday afternoon because I was feeling better and think, now, maybe it was too soon.

7/21/14
As you can see, started this blog last Thursday and life happened - didn't complete my entry, lost my train of thought, etc., etc.

So, weekend was crazy busy. Boys' theater production - opening night is coming soon so they spent all day Saturday in tech rehearsal. What did my husband and I do? Did we take advantage of a day all to ourselves? Did we do something fun? Well, all depends on your definition of fun. We've been working on a backyard project, creating a fire pit -- at the base of that darn hill mentioned above.

Most of Saturday morning we ran (okay, drove) back and forth to the home supply center and rock supplier. Then, we spent the rest of the day digging, hauling, and leveling the area for our fire pit. We finished it late in the afternoon and it is everything I had hoped it would be.


Here is the finished product. It was so nice to spend the evening around the pit with my three favorite guys, enjoying conversation, lots of laughs, and of course S'mores! Oh, and you can't see it very well in this picture -- but that darn hill is off to the left - actually fell right near where the sprinkler is on the left side of this photo.

So, Saturday's exercise was the manual labor required to create this pit. Sunday, needless to say included not much more than getting up off the couch to go to the restroom. Okay - there was a brief jaunt to the grocery store and then to do some shopping for jeans for one of my teens. It was definitely a lazy day spent recovering.

No gym for me today either - spending the day deep cleaning my kitchen. Wiping down all of the cabinets and then "polishing" all of the woodwork.  Cleaning counter tops, all stainless steel surfaces, and floors. I hate cleaning -- but it must be done and since my guys are at theater all day, everyday this week, I figure I have a lot of time on my hands, with no interruptions, to get some necessary cleaning stuff done. On my agenda this week -- clean the kitchen, declutter while cleaning, tackle the mountain of laundry, iron my husbands slacks and shirts (hate ironing too), clean my laundry room -- dust bunnies took over and they're multiplying!! We have family coming into town next Saturday and I have guest room to prepare, general pickup, vacuuming, dusting - oh yeah and cleaning of bathrooms (ick) and anything else that happens to pop up along the way. So, can I count this as exercise? I think so -- it's not the cardio type that I would normally get at the gym, but I am moving around, using my muscles and this does burn calories and that's good!

After having a week of "recovery" from my fall, I'm feeling a little guilty for not going to the gym. But, I know that I needed to heal before I could get back to my normal routine. I still find that if I push too much, I get a little dizzy so maybe this plan to clean this week is a good idea and not push hard cardio and strength training for at least the first half of this week. I am a little upset because I'm up a pound since my last weigh-in probably because of not moving last week. But, at the same time, I need to remember that it's okay - that pushing myself could hurt me further and even the doctor at Urgent Care told me that I should take it slow and make sure I'm recovered before returning to normal activity.

7/23/14

And, here I am again -- got sidetracked a second time from finishing this entry. UGH :)  Well, off to a crazy day of running errands. Oldest son cracked his ipad screen and need to get that repaired, then need to go to the grocery store to stock up for family visit. Didn't finish my cleaning - I was exhausted yesterday - so it's back to that today. I figure as long as I stay busy -- I'm good. Busy means I'm not sitting in my family room eating and watching HGTV all day long.

Anyway, to anyone who might be reading this blog -- hope your week is going great. Hope you're doing well on your journey, whatever it might be, and, hope you don't get constantly side-tracked like I feel I'm getting this week.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Looking back .... Looking forward.

I am happy to report that I have worked through my plateau!! I'm now down almost 10 pounds (9.8 to be exact) total and I'm feeling pretty good!

It's been a crazy summer thus far. My teens are both involved in a summer theater consortium and I've been chauffeuring them to and fro for the past several weeks. On top of this, we made a quick trip to Albany, NY for my niece's high school graduation. And, when I say quick -- it was leave home at 5:30pm on Thursday and return at 2am on Monday (total of about 23 hours driving.) Can we say whirlwind??? Then, to top off everything, my sweet lil' Disney (doggie from previous post) has had some health issues in the last week and a half causing lots of worrying and stress. She seems to be doing much better now, thankfully, so we're keeping our fingers crossed that she'll be okay.

Just celebrated my 24th wedding anniversary. Wow!! As I look back on the last 24 years and all of our ups and downs - I can honestly say that I am married to one AMAZING man who has loved me throughout this crazy journey that we're on. He's loved me skinny, obese, and every size in between. He's supported every hair-brained idea of how to lose weight and been my loudest and most supportive cheerleader.

Here we are, way back in 1990. So young and in love :)
And, here we are just a couple of months ago, not as young but still very much in love :) 


I can't imagine doing this without his support. In fact, not only is he supporting me -- he's actively participating. You see, as in most marriages, when one person gains weight, the other joins in on the fun. So, thankfully, he's also decided to join in on the fun of taking the weight back off again. Do I want to get back to my wedding day weight? Well, of course I do -- but I'm also aware that may not be a realistic goal for me. I struggle to lose weight, I struggle to stay thinner - I think more realistic is just to get into my "weight range." Right now, if I had to pick a number I'd like to reach - it's 140lbs. Why this number? Well, it's where, I think, I will look and feel good for my build, age, and the fact that I'm trying to add muscle while losing fat.

On the day of my wedding so many years ago, I weighed 125lbs. I don't think I could maintain that weight now. First of all, I'm gaining more muscle while, hopefully, losing fat. Secondly, even back then, I was just over 130lbs. in the weeks leading up to my wedding - but with stress and constant motion in the week before the big day I lost about ten pounds - my dress was baggy on my wedding day (sigh.) Thirdly, I'm 24 years older now and I'm just not willing to starve or workout constantly to maintain that weight. I believe I can be fit and healthy while weighing slightly more than I did on that wonderful day so many years ago.

So, what did I do to get through my plateau? Well, to be honest -- nothing special. I ate regularly, normally, watched my calories -- but some days I went on the higher side of my calorie range and some days I went a little lower. I continued to exercise, tried to do something everyday, but at the minimum I did cardio five times per week. There's no magic bullet, no mystical pill, no genies in a bottle. It boils down to hard work, determination, and not giving up.

As I look forward to many more years with my wonderful husband, I keep thinking of one of the messages I heard repeatedly at my niece's graduation: "Dream Big. Sweat Hard." Nothing worth achieving is going to come easy -- you're going to have to work for it and work hard. It's true in so many aspects of life... work, raising children, and yes, even marriage. And, it's true in weight loss. While there are many "diet aids" out there claiming to be the magic remedy needed to lose weight, guess what? Not going to happen without putting in hard work! And, so, that's what I'm doing - working hard, sweating hard, and dreaming big!


Sunday, June 8, 2014

How to stay motivated, when the scale ain't budging?

Wish I could figure out the answer to that question. To say I'm struggling with this right now is an understatement. After having lost a nice amount last week, the scale has not moved in the right direction for me this week. In fact ---- I GAINED a half pound!!!

I went to the gym today, but between soreness and lack of motivation -- I can NOT even come close to saying I got in a good workout. I've walked a little over 9300 steps today -- but I don't' think I really broke a sweat doing any of that. In fact, my Fitbit would tell you that I only had about sixteen active minutes today.

It's really depressing because I've been so motivated lately. I went to the gym 5 out of the last 7 days, made my step goal every day -- in fact I EXCEEDED my step goal every day. Watched my calorie in versus calorie out and had anywhere between a 600 and 1000 calorie deficit each and every day! I should have seen a loss on the scale - but NO. NOT. NOTHING.

So, how can I stay motivated through this plateau? Through this rough spot? Dory (Finding Nemo) would say "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming." And, I'm trying to keep that mantra in my head and in my heart, but it's not easy. I have to stay the course because I know to give up now is not an option. I can't stop measuring, counting, exercising. If I do -- then I lose -- or, actually, I gain. And I don't want to gain. I don't want to go back down that road where none of my current clothes fit. I put on a pair of pants the other day and while I would never wear them out in public (yet) -- I was excited that I could actually zip them up again -- couldn't do that a month ago.

I guess I have to celebrate the small NSVs (Non-scale Victories) that are occurring along the way. Like being able to zip up a pair of pants I could barely get pass my very large derriere a few weeks ago. But, it's tough not to see the results on the scale -- those are the results that really scream to me!! When that number goes down, I think "wow, you did great! You really worked hard this week and it shows" The NSVs are much harder to 'see' at least for now because they're not significant. It's not like I've lost enough weight to go down a dress size. It's not like I've slimmed down enough to finally fit all those clothes that are sitting in my closet waiting for me to be able to wear them again. Like I said, a couple of things fit a little better.

Ah well, guess I'm off to walk my dogs, get my ten thousand steps and figure out how to get past this hurdle and not get discouraged. Just keep swimming .... just keep walking....

Friday, May 30, 2014

Everything in moderation

Almost daily, I see headlines (and sometimes I read some of the article too) on Facebook, or Yahoo, or on Google about tips to lose weight. Lose a pound per day! Lose 10 pounds this week! Lose weight fast with these easy steps! While I don't doubt some of these methods might work - it irks me that these programs promote rapid weight loss through really harsh restrictions, crazy amounts of exercise or that magic pill (yeah, right). Who can sustain the lifestyle that some of these diets promote? Give up sugar, give up flour, give up pasta -- why not just give up eating! Spend 3 hours per day exercising -- who has that kind of time? Well, I know I can't and I don't.

Or, maybe, I just don't want to...

I don't want to give up sugar, I don't want to give up carbs, I don't want to give up fats. Let's face it, our bodies actually need these things to remain healthy. Now, that's not to say that too much of anything is good, just because I say I don't want to give up, doesn't mean I'm not willing to reduce and I have done that, significantly, especially sugar. It also doesn't mean I'm not willing to change the types of sugar, carbs and fats I consume, for the most part. Fruit is a good carb and sugar source; olive oil and almonds are good fats. Counting calories and keeping tabs of what I'm putting into my body has made me hyper-aware of exactly what foods are really bad and where I can indulge a little and sometimes cheat.

Case in point, Memorial Day Weekend, big grilling weekend for most American families. Big weekend for family and/or friend gatherings. We all know, as soon as you get multiple families together, all contributing to the meal, there's going to be a lot of food and a lot of food that is not on anyone's diet plan. Our gathering of four families included smoked pork BBQ (awesome!), hamburgers, hot dogs, mayonnaise based potato and pasta salads, baked beans, fruit salad (my contribution) and a chocolate brownie/pudding/whipped cream trifle http://instagram.com/p/oeU91JOv4V/# (also my contribution) - just because I'm trying to lose weight doesn't mean everyone else has to as well ;) Oh, and lots of alcohol - wine, beer, vodka, sodas, lemonade, iced tea - you get the picture. We had enough food and drink to feed 6, maybe even 7 families - of course there were 6 teenage boys in the crowd - so I guess they easily count for 2 adults each when factoring how much food 4 families can eat. I'm fairly proud of myself - could I have done better - of course, but I managed to drink mostly water all afternoon and evening, only had 1 full drink of vodka mixed with lemonade. I ate a bowl of fruit salad as my appetizer (filler) so as not to partake in the chips and sour cream based dip that was out. But, then there was BBQ -- yum!! So, I skipped the bun and indulged in the meat. I had a good helping of potato salad (guilty pleasure) and just a tiny spoon of baked beans -- if I had to measure I'd venture it totaled about 3TBS. I did partake in a lil' bit of trifle later in the evening -- but again - I probably had about 1/2 cup. After measuring for some time now, I've become pretty good about eyeballing my portions (although I still measure, religiously, when at home.) So, all in all, I think I did fairly well that weekend - nothing crazy but I still managed to enjoy myself. Result - I was up 1/2 lb. on Tuesday morning. But, you know what -that's okay! Because I knew going in I wasn't going to entirely deprive myself of what I like and that I may have to repair the repercussions later. And I did! I'm down not only the 1/2 lb. that I put on, but another 3/4 lb. beyond that this morning.

So, getting back to my original thought about this blog entry... In the battle to lose weight, I think a lot of folks (including me) see the big goal at the end of the line and miss the changes that need to be made along the way. We are all looking for the quick fix -- how do I lose a ton of weight as fast as possible? As I stated before, I've done this weight loss thing in the past (haven't we all?) and I made changes and lost a significant amount of weight. I know what I need to do in order to do that again (I just need to NOT get lazy this time once the weight is off.) Some time ago, I read an article that made sense, it said that we don't get fat overnight. For me, it's been a slow and steady weight gain of 20lbs. over the last 4 years. Therefore, the weight is not going to come off overnight (or in a month) either. Yes, I know, there are many diet gurus and trainers out there who will tell me that I can take off 10 pounds in a month and have 30 gone in 3 months time. But, then what? If I restrict my diet and exercise to the point of exhaustion over the next 3 months in order to quickly lose 30lbs. -- what happens when I stop doing that? Well, I think logic tells me - the weight will slowly (or maybe not that slowly) creep back on. I need to make changes that are sustainable. And, if I make changes that are too restrictive, those will not be sustainable. There's a reason for the saying "everything in moderation," because moderation allows us to enjoy life without going crazy. It allows us to eat smoked pork BBQ and potato salad on Memorial Day weekend. It allows us to live life and have fun. So, that's my goal -- to make lifestyle changes (more time being physically active and smaller portion sizes) without entirely giving up everything that I love and enjoy.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Just keep walking...


As promised, first a review of my Fitbit...

I've had my Fitbit for about four weeks and so far so good! It's not a magic bullet and I haven't lost 30 lbs. in the last three weeks, but I really think it's helping to motivate me to move more. I find myself checking my status -- how many steps have I taken? How many stairs have I climbed? Have I been active for at least 30 minutes today? And, those are good things.  I wish it was a miracle gadget that once in use the weight was just shedding itself in a pool around my feet. It's not. But, what it is, I think, is a wonderful tool to help me shed those pounds over time.

Here's my attempt at "screen capturing" what my dashboard looks like (almost):

As you can see, it keeps track of so much!  The screens are fairly self-explanatory - but I love that it keeps track of my active minutes, steps, calories burned v. calories eaten -- so many good things about this tracker. Oh, and then there's the "gamification" - my husband is my Fitbit "friend." On this screen I can see what his total steps for the week are and where I am in comparison. Well, he always beats me -- I swear it's because he's taller than me and it counts his steps double :) At least that's what I tell myself :)

I lost 2.5 lbs. in the first week -- AMAZING!! I was so excited to see those lower numbers on the scale! But, alas, the 2nd week wasn't as amazing. In fact, according to the scale, I didn't lose an ounce that week. But, I was hoping that that meant other things were going on. My mother saw me, on Mother's Day, after not having seen me since Easter and she said I looked like I'd lost a few pounds. And, she wasn't aware that I was back on my weight loss agenda -- so that was nice. She noticed that I looked "healthier."

Then, Mother's Day weekend repercussions hit and all I can say is "ugh." Even though my family and I went on a very lengthy hike in one of our beautiful state parks - almost 8 miles - I still managed to gain back 2 of the 2.5 lbs. lost. Talk about depressing! But, that's what happens when you eat sushi rolls and Chinese food one night and follow it up with a very wonderful Italian restaurant the next. So much for the thought that I earned my indulgences. But, the only thing I could do was move on.

And, move on I did. Back to the gym, back to walking daily, back to making 10,000 steps per day and back to logging all of my food. And, now I am happy to say that those 2lbs. gained are gone and another pound to boot. I'm now down 3.5 lbs since starting this journey. Like I said, the pounds are not melting off, but I'm happy they're at least steaming away slowly :)

So, all in all, I have found that the Fitbit is definitely the motivator I need to get me moving, to get me watching what I eat, to really think about what I'm doing to make myself healthy. And, ultimately, it isn't about being skinny - oh, who am I kidding--yes, it is - but it's also about being healthy. I have two teenage sons who I want to see grow up. I want to be around when they go to college, I want to be around when they graduate, when they get married, start their own families, have children of their own. I want to do everything in my power to stay healthy. Oh, and being skinny won't be so bad either :)





Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Waiting, waiting...

So, my new toy (aka Fitbit One) arrived yesterday, I'm so excited! Set up was really pretty easy -- just needed to create an account on Fitbit and then I synced it with my Sparkpeople account and they're talking to each other! I love when technology works :) Today will be the first full day of seeing how this cute little thing works. I'm going to give it a week or so before I pass any judgement :)

On another note -- I've been to the gym four days in a row! That's the most days I've gone, in a row, in a very long time - yay me! So, something is starting to click - at least I hope. I once read that it takes about 3 weeks of consistently doing something in order to form a habit -- I guess I've got 17 more days before this working out thing becomes a routine. But, I did manage, between the elliptical and just general walking around the house doing things to burn about 460 calories today from exercise - so I'm happy! It's not earth shattering - but it's a start :)

Getting back to motivators, I already discussed the need for external motivators because I lack that inner voice that yells at me. Hence, the purchase of the Fitbit. But, another great external motivator for me -- I love to travel! You might ask what does travel have to do with losing weight? Well, ultimately, for me, it's not necessarily about losing the weight (although it's a key ingredient) but it's about vanity. I want to look good in photos! I hate looking back at photos of holidays and trips when I was fat. It makes me sad, it makes me depressed, it makes me feel ugly. I just can't accept myself as this fat person and I really want to find the skinnier me. Oh, and feeling good so that I can explore new lands, that's important too!

I mentioned that my family went on a Mediterranean cruise in 2010. I was extremely motivated prior to that trip to finally take off pounds because I wanted to be in pictures!  I wanted to prove that I was really on that trip!
In the past I've always stayed behind the camera. If I happened to be in a photo, I usually hid behind someone and only stuck my face into the picture. I was the queen of masking my obesity. It was my way of hiding the fact that I was fat and if no one could see it, then I didn't have to face it. I know now that I wasn't fooling anyone. You can't hide when you're between 50 and 60 lbs. overweight. The only one I was fooling was myself. But on this trip, I was front and center in photos -- I wasn't hiding behind my boys. And, even though I wasn't at my "ideal" weight, I felt good!

Now, I realize that I need that inner voice to take over to really be successful in maintaining my weight loss in the long run - I know that - in my head. But, for some reason my logical self and my inner self aren't speaking to each other -- at least not yet.

What's sparking my desire to lose weight again -- besides the fact that I just don't feel good about myself? Well, the real cattle-prod is my upcoming vacations! I currently have three trips planned in the next year. This summer - we are road tripping. This tour includes Pittsburgh, PA (husband grew up here), Niagara Falls (both US and Canadian sides), Toronto (boys are HUGE NHL fans!), hiking in upstate New York and finally New York City (my old stomping ground). Then, next spring, my oldest son and I are off to Europe for a 10 day whirl-wind tour of Berlin, Prague, Munich and Vienna with his High School class. Finally, our last scheduled trip is another cruise next summer. I want to be in photos to prove I've been to all of these wonderful places! I want to step out from behind the lens!






Friday, April 25, 2014

Motivation

Motivation, there's that word again. Merriam-Webster defines motivation as:
  •  the act or process of giving someone a reason for doing something;
  •  the condition of being eager to act or work;
  •  a force or influence that causes someone to do something
We all have motivators. Whether our motivators are internal, just that drive to get things done, or external. External motivators can come from several different places. In fact, there are external motivators all around us - that snicker from the stupid individual who moos as he walks by you, that glance in the mirror that isn't very satisfying, putting on a piece of clothing and finding that it doesn't quite fit the way it used to. These can all be motivators. Another type of motivator is electronic. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

So, I wasn't feeling all that great this week. Battling some kind of virus (self-diagnosed ) But, basically I've been feeling a little run-down, slight temp, one-sided sore throat and ear pain on the same side. Well, you can imagine where this is going -- no fitness minutes. Oh, I walked a little, just so I could say I got up out of my favorite chair, but it wasn't heart pumping, sweat inducing, muscle straining exercise. Unless you call the finger cramps I got from being on my laptop muscle straining exercise? I mean, my hands did hurt a little yesterday

I spent the last few days researching. The last time I went down this weight-loss road, I used Sparkpeople and a community chat board on another website to motivate myself to get up and move. Both of these "tools" helped me to get out, exercise, eat right and lose weight. Tracking my food intake, my activity levels and chatting with others about their successes and failures was the incentive I needed to achieve my goals. As I discussed before, I didn't maintain all of my weight-loss. I came back from vacation 3 years ago and lost my motivation and couldn't find it again.

Research - I research things to death. I mean, I will search and search and search a subject, product, location, service, well - you get my drift - until, I think, I know more about the stuff than the company or person who created whatever the dang thing is. I have a disorder (similar to the aforementioned cheese). What was I researching, you might ask? And what does this have to do with motivation? Well, I was researching activity trackers.

I need external motivation. I don't have a loud enough voice inside my head to scream "Get off your fat a## and go to the gym!!" or "Don't eat that bowl of ice cream -- you already had too many calories today!!" I need something to tell me that I need to get off my over-sized patootie and get moving.

I just got a new smart phone. I had a Samsung Galaxy Note (version 1) prior to my new phone and I loved -- LOVED - my phablet. I loved how big it was - loved the ability to use a stylus to write on the screen. It was fun! But, alas, my battery was failing and to be honest -- it was several years old and I'm all about gadgets. I wanted something new and flashy.

I picked up the Samsung S5. Mainly because it's got some nice camera features and it's a bit smaller (don't need to haul a rolling duffel to carry my phone anymore) than the newest Galaxy Note. I mean, let's face it, the size of the Galaxy Note harkens back to days of early cell phones. Yes, I was around during the time of the dinosaurs and huge cell phones. While the ability to have a cell phone back in the early 90s was cool  -- it wasn't Maxwell Smart Shoe Phone cool. Those cell phones were huge! (Okay young ones -- "Get Smart".) Anyway, the S5 has a fitness tracker built in. It's fairly basic - you can only really monitor running, walking and hiking. But, it has a pedometer and I tried it. While I haven't walked a full ten thousand steps yet (did I mention I've been sick?) it is inspiring me to get up and move a little more. It actually converts my steps into calories burned and that's where I start to see my motivator :idea: . I like knowing that those steps are having a positive effect (or negative calorie count) on my weight-loss journey.

Well, if a simple app on my smart phone can spark some motivation, how about a REAL activity tracker? This business is really starting to boom and there is no shortage of choices out there, with many more in the pipeline. I could have purchased a Samsung Gear Fit when I got my phone - in fact, I was offered a $50 discount when I purchased the S5. But, I don't think I need all of the "features" that come with the Gear Fit. I just want an activity tracker, not another "smart phone" on my wrist. I don't need to take calls or be able to text from my wrist - although that is Maxwell Smart cool! So, that left me with only 100 choices instead of 101. Okay - maybe not quite that many - didn't really count - but there are a lot of choices available!

I won't go into all of the different options out there -- you just have to Google the terms "activity" or "fitness tracker" and you'll get pages and pages of search results along with a plethora of reviews, comparison charts, etc. I chose the Fitbit One. While I would love to have something with a heart rate monitor, I'm not sure about "strapping one on" before I exercise. The Fitbit One seems to fulfill what I'm currently looking for: it counts my steps, my calories burned, my distance traveled, and a few other things. I like that it syncs with my S5, my laptop, and with several of the apps (or websites) that I already use such as Sparkpeople, Loseit, Myfitnesspal, and many, many others. I also am very pleased that it costs less than $100 on Amazon.

So, my external motivator will arrive sometime Monday. I'm looking forward to working with my new electronic gadget. I love gadgets, by the way, but that's another blog topic! I know that it won't necessarily tell me to get up and move. But I feel the visual stimulus of instantly seeing where I am, at any given point of the day, (via wireless sync with my S5) will really give me the motivation to get where I want to be. Which will be off this chair!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Everyday we tell ourselves little white lies. Well, I do anyway. Tomorrow, I'll spend more time at the gym; tomorrow, I'll clean up the office/craft room/school room; tomorrow I won't eat any candy ... and on and on. I guess this falls under the term procrastination, but let's face it -- I'm lying to myself. I tell myself I'm going to do something but, let's be honest, I probably have no intention of getting it done. Maybe some of you can relate?  We may think we'll do it (whatever it is -- and we all have an "it") and maybe some of us will eventually get to it, but if you're like me, it stays on the back burner, especially cleaning that office :)

So, how do we motivate ourselves to change? I'm not sure. I struggle with this on a daily basis. I am the queen of procrastination. It constantly irks me when my high schooler doesn't plan out his homework assignments and leaves tons of work to get done right before their due date. But, I know exactly where he's gotten this habit from -- me! My husband isn't like this. He's the type of person who sets out to do something and nine times out of ten, he will go ahead and get it done because he just wants to get "it" out of the way. Not me, I'm always thinking maybe I'll have more energy to get it done tomorrow. I don't really have to do that right now. Maybe magical faeries will descend upon my home and do "it" for me :) Why do I do this? Is it something inherent in my DNA? Is it just part of my personality? Is it something I can change about myself?

I started thinking about this today because I'm once again struggling with my weight. Back in 2008 - 2010 I lost about 40 pounds. My father, who was not overweight, had a stroke and this scared me. I always thought he was healthy. Well, healthy for someone who smoked more than a pack of cigarettes per day and was a strictly meat and potatoes, with high fat desserts on the side, kind of guy. On top of my Dad's health scare, my husband and I were in the process of planning a family trip to Europe to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. So, I was completely motivated. I went to the gym. Many days I worked out for two hours at a time. I ate right, I counted calories, I reduced my wine intake to only a couple of glasses per week, etc, etc. I was fairly religious in my diligence.The weight came off, slowly, and it was hard work, but it did come off.

When we returned from our trip, I still went to the gym, but not as religiously. I thought "if I just get there a few times per week," the weight would, at least, stay off. And, for a while it did. But then I got lazy and I went to the gym less often. I stopped counting calories. I stopped eating well. I like food. I like wine. I like hanging with friends and family on the weekends and eating pizza and drinking wine. I have a complete weakness for cheese. So, you can see where this is going. I gained weight. Not all at once, it's crept on slowly. But here I am, four years later, I've gained back 20 pounds. Ugh.

We recently went to Myrtle Beach for a long weekend and I felt disgusting. But, has this been the motivation I need to get back to the gym? Maybe, maybe not. I went several times in the week that followed. I started watching what I eat, logging my exercise and food intake. But, at the end of one week -- I had not lost one ounce!! It's frustrating to feel like you've worked hard, or harder than you have in a long time, and not see any results. I know the weight is not miraculously going to disappear overnight. I know I didn't gain it overnight, so I don't expect to lose it that quickly either. But, I was hoping for, at the very least, a half pound loss. But, nothing. The scale did not move. I realize that there are probably things going on internally that aren't visible on the scale -- but I want to see pounds shedding!

So, how do I stay motivated to stay on program? To be honest, I'm struggling with this right now. I find myself feeling disgusted and the more I get disgusted, the more upset I am, the more upset I am, the less motivated I feel, the less motivated I feel, the less I feel like going to the gym which then leads to feeling more and more disgusted. You see the never-ending cycle?

Motivation, where do you get it from? We all have motivators whether they be external - that trip you've been planning, an upcoming wedding, high school or college reunion, etc. External motivators can be a huge kick in the butt. But, I think, in order to make the type of changes in lifestyle, that promote long-term weight loss goals or long term health changes (or whatever you're trying to change), these motivators come from inside. They are small (or big) mental changes that need to be made, over time, to be successful and long lasting.

Okay, so the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I need help! There, I said it. I'm not typically one who asks for or seeks out help. I'm more of a do-it-yourself kinda gal. But, this time I need help. I need inspiration. I need motivation. I have two big trips coming up next year (external motivators). One is to Europe with my oldest son's high school class. The other is to celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary -- we'll be cruising DCL in June.  Now, the internal motivators need to fall into place. Another truth -- I'm really hoping blogging about my struggles will help motivate me to change. So, there's my truth -- I'm overweight and unhappy. Now, I'm off to make a healthy choice for dinner.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Why Tink?

Anyone who knows me and my family, knows that we love Disney. Okay, not in the "I decorate my house in all things Disney" way. More in the "where are we going to vacation this year? Can we go thru Florida so we can stop in Disney?" kind of way. But, we did name one of our dogs Disney, isn't she adorable?? :)



Anyway, back to our love of Disney, the parks, not the dog :) We love the theming, we love the rides, it's just a fun experience and everyone in the family has something they adore doing there. We also love, love, love, Disney Cruise Line. Can you tell we love DCL? :) We've been on 4 cruises with DCL and have another one scheduled for next year. It's one of those perfect blends of Disney theme in a completely relaxing atmosphere. Now that my boys are teens, I think they prefer this type of vacation over any other, even Walt Disney World. But, more about our family's travels on another post :) And, no, I don't plan on spewing forth rants about how wonderful a Disney vacation is (although it can be), we've done other vacations and had a wonderful time. This year we're actually road tripping north of the Mason Dixon line, in fact we're going north of the US border even. But, like I said, that's for another post. If I talk about everything now, then I'll run out of things to say, HA!

But, I still haven't answered, why Tink? Well, going along with the Disney theme, years ago I joined a discussion forum that is based on, what else...Disney. I had to come up with a member name and I didn't want to just use my real name, that was too boring. I saw people on this forum with names like "wdwlvr" and "tigger" and "Its A Smallworld." I couldn't have just plain old Lubi as my forum user name. I wanted an amazing name, a fun name, something with a little spunk and a little attitude and who else but Tinkerbell could epitomize a gal with spunk and attitude? So, since Tinkerbell and Tink were already taken, my board name became NC_Tink - guess where I live? :)  I use that name on many different boards now (Disney related and other.) I've even used nctink in the address for this blogging page, easier for me to remember my own URL :) So, I guess not only do I associate with Tinkerbell, I guess it's just become a habit of mine to utilize part of her name. And, because so many decisions in life require a leap of faith, having a little "faith, trust, and pixie dust" is not a bad thing :)

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

What to write about?

Write what you know... That's what I've heard anyway. But, what do I know? I keep thinking about that Sam Cooke song, Wonderful World
Don't know much about history,
Don't know much Biology,
Don't know much about a science book,
Don't know much about the French I took...
I don't know much about anything in particular, but I sure know lots of bits of information about lots of stuff. Is this blog going to be about anything in particular? Maybe. I'm hoping that it will just kind of find itself along the way. Much the same way I hope to find myself along the way. I've spent the last seven years being a stay-at-home mom. I've been wife, mom, daughter, chauffeur, teacher, principal, cook, nurse, referee, coach, travel agent, interior decorator, etc. The list goes on and on and on. Don't get me wrong, I love my life, being home with my kids has been the most rewarding experience I could have ever have asked for. I would not trade the time I've spent with my kids for any amount of money. But, somewhere along the way, I think I seem to have forgotten who I am. Ok, kinda cliché, I know. But it's true, when you devote so much time to those around you, you end up giving up a little of yourself along the way.

My children are slowly leaving the nest. My eldest, Connor, decided to leave our homeschool this past Fall and is attending a wonderful charter school for his Sophomore year. My younger son, Kieran, will be a Freshman there this Fall. Which now leaves me with the question... what do I want to be now that I've grown up?

I have a degree in psychology, but as the saying goes...that and $2.50 will buy me a token on the NYC subway. I've toyed with the idea of returning to school to advance my degree, but when you're trying to save for your teenagers' college funds, it doesn't leave a lot of room in the budget for such thoughts. And, to be honest, what I wanted at eighteen, isn't necessarily what I want at (ahem - not going to say.) So, I guess I'm going to fall back on the fact that my Psychology degree came from a liberal arts college which required lots of writing. And, while I may not have appreciated that requirement while attending, I am thankful for it now because I think one of my strengths is the ability to write. I'm not about to write the next best American novel, but I think, or at least I hope, I can handle writing a blog :)

I guess I'm ready to start my next chapter. How will that chapter start? What tale will it tell? Will there be any twists along the way? Well, I guess I'm about to find out...and, yes, I'm looking forward to the adventure and sharing it with you :)